The semi-fat woman: not fat nor thin, but somewhere in between
I’ve always had problems keeping my “normal” weight — and I’m not talking about being too skinny, just thin enough to be considered in a healthy shape. With these enormous hips, I could never really be bony, to be fair, which is fine when I am actually in shape.
As a semi-fat woman, the scale tells me something, which, combining with my height, is enough to put me in the overweight population box, but not exactly in the obese group. Also, my clothes are a constant reminder that it would be best to drop around 10-15 kilos.
It may be relevant to point out that being overweight comes with a number of risk factors, such as high cholesterol and triglycerides, which my blood tests have been warning me about a while ago. Statistically speaking, you might also find yourself in my shoes. Studies have shown that 2.3 billions of children and adults around the world are overweight or obese.
Scientific facts apart, what I really want to share here are the seemingly uncontrollable behaviors and frustrating daily life matters of a semi-fat woman.
A semi-fat woman doesn’t belong anywhere. Thin women tend to look at this specimen with pity — or perhaps repulsive — eyes, whilst the larger ones give them the sense they’re not good enough to be a part of their gang.
When you are not thin enough to be called skinny, nor do you have the right amount of fat to be considered a large woman, it feels like there’s no place for you. If you are not happy with the figures on the scale, you probably have the urge to go either way, but not necessarily stay where you are.
However, losing — or gaining — a healthy weight isn’t just about eating the proper food. Nutrition isn’t as simple as it seems. The way we feed ourselves tells us a lot about our relationship with food in general, and it involves our culture, our family, friends, and psychological state.
I do admire women that feel good about themselves, no matter what the mirror tells them. They identify with what their inner-selves actually show them. It’s about self-esteem, a true power that comes from within and isn’t affected by the outside world or one’s appearance.
Nevertheless, I do feel like I’m stuck in limbo. As I don’t possess the force (thanks, Yoda) myself, it’s hard to find a place where I can perfectly fit — not literally, in this case. Being unfit — with all the meaning behind this word — contributes to a low level of self-love.
These were just some random and (used to be) private reflections. I do know it all comes down to the sense of self-worth. Therapy, yoga, meditation, and lots of different types of activities (such as writing) and exercises might help. Hopefully, this time might work. Or else, there it is again: the semi-fat in the limbo.
