The self-esteem roller coaster
When I constantly neglect to show much gratitude or perhaps a sense of worth for most of my own accomplishments, it does seem to me that I’m carrying the low self-esteem burden on my shoulders. It might not be here with me all the time, but it’s there whenever it finds a perfect moment to jump right back on.
Most of us who struggle with loving ourselves don’t necessarily have a self-hatred feeling along with every breath we take. Thus, self-esteem works as a roller coaster for some of us.
With its ups and downs, and free-falling surprises, this powerful feeling can drag you to the lowest level of self-love and acceptance, but it can also elevate yourself to a top-of-the-hill feeling.
So, when you’re right up there, you get butterflies in your stomach — not an infatuation for someone else, but for your own self. That’s the moment you realise how unique, powerful and deserving of other people’s love you can be.
Your job flows fluently like a river, your once dead social life catches its breath back and you find the cup has always been half full. Most importantly, you absolutely love spending time with yourself, because you know in your heart that you are your best companion.
On the other hand, that same car you’re seated in has the capacity to take you to a dark place, a seemingly endless tunnel. That’s the moment you start to question yourself, to doubt your true self-worth and become your own most fierce critic.
That’s the low self-esteem telling you to give up all your efforts and to just stay away from everything you do well and everyone that you thought wanted to spend time with you.
Unveiling the metaphor
While I’m writing these lines, I’ve come to understand one important thing in all this self-esteem scenario. The roller coaster is literally a train that is connected to cars, right? Or the other way round.
So it’s not the car that takes us anywhere, it’s the train. And this exact vehicle has no other choice but to actually move throughout the tracks it’s attached to. The locomotive has the power to carry on, but what is it actually carrying? The vehicles being pulled can be seen as the experiences our “self” carries.
The tracks might simply mean life itself and, if the train is what pulls the cars, then the former might be a metaphor for what we think of ourselves, our identity. Or, perhaps, the locomotive could be how we face the world and how our minds — and hearts — interprets what life brings us.
In a nutshell, the tracks mean life, the train represents the mind and heart and the cars are our experiences carried throughout the years.
The ups and downs the self-esteem roller coaster present us are definitely not easy to cope. So we must make the effort to see the lows as part of the experience, but definitely not all of it.
We have to remind ourselves that life challenges may seem scarier when you take the front seat but, at the same time, can present you with pure relief and joy after the fall.
